I Play The Pee-Pee Game Every Night So I Don’t Get Mad At My Prostate

Mr. Francis Esq.
4 min readFeb 11, 2021

The older you get as a man, the more you have to go to the washroom at night.

In my case, I’m sure it has something to do with my prostate, but I really don’t care that much to find out why or what to do about it.

I just accept it.

On some nights, I only have to get up twice to go to the bathroom.

That’s a good night.

And on other evenings I may have to use the facilities 4–6 times.

Those nights are hard, as it leaves little room for me actually to sleep.

Because of this, I’ve invented a game that keeps me smiling, no matter how many times I have to get up to deal with my ever-shrinking bladder.

In my bedroom, on top of my dresser drawer set, I have an old iClock. It was something I bought with my air miles, back when you could accumulate air miles and actually use them to buy something.

At the time, I had both an iPad and an iPod, and this clock radio had a dock for both of them. It saved me from buying or worrying about plugging in a bunch of extra cords for my iStuff.

The fact that it also had a built-in radio added to its appeal. I still appreciate listening to the news on the radio.

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Mr. Francis Esq.

Mr. Francis Esq. hails from parts unknown of the Empire. And has just published his frightfully entertaining gift book — How Not To: Survive A Pandemic.